January 11, 2008
"I grow old learning something new everyday," --Solon, Athenian statesman and poet of 630-560 BC.
The month of January is the perfect time to learn something new, the secret elixir that keeps us young; that is, according to the philosophy of my late Great-Aunt Ida. She died still perfectly lucid at the age of 98.
I often said of her that I wanted to grow up and be just like her.
Not an easy task I am discovering.
However, I am making a valiant effort by trying to learn something new each day just like she did. Since I do not have her penchant for remembering baseball statistics or her proclivity for geography, I have resolved to simply follow the news every day and pick up one new fact or learn one new truth.
Here is what I have learned so far in the month of January.
I have committed to memory the definition of Frisbeetarianism, a noun. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. I found this new word in a Washington Post contest in which readers can submit new words or alternate meanings for common words. My second favorite was the word coffee. New meaning: the person upon whom one coughs.
An advertisement on television sells a video guide titled "How to use a metal detector", and I may have to order one yet this month. Certainly, that would qualify as a brand new skill, and one I have never previously considered learning. I hear it is quite popular, too.
Also, I am learning more about the disclaimers on bottles of prescription medicines, especially when they warn, "How this medicine works is not completely understood." Yep, better learn more about that one if I want to emulate Aunt Ida's age.
Here is a new word I learned, and I am betting you do not know it either. Deipnosophist, a noun. It means someone who is skilled in table talk and is pronounced dyp-NOS-uh-fist. There you go, a brand new fact. Now, I just have to master witty table talk.
TXT (text) messaging. This is a must-learn new skill, like it or not.
For instance, and I am speaking now to everyone over the age of 40 who has not mastered TXT messaging, remember this new fact. When you go to the mall and you cannot read the warning signs because they are written in text messaging lingo, it is time to learn.
It took me awhile, but I have now mastered the mall warning sign aimed at those who tend to group and "hang out" at the mall. Wonder if this applies to the early morning mall walkers? Hmmm?
The sign: U Yell, U Cuss, U Group, U Gone.
Got it. Another skill learned.
NJOY and learn something new in January.
